!!!!!!

ok..so here lately, I've just been in one of those "the whole world sucks and I'm ready for it to be over with" kind of moods..I don't know what it was about today, but I'm in a strangely happy mood. And I can't explain it.

maybe it's because I haven't skipped a class yet this week =) lol but I did sleep through two ((oooooops.)) HOWEVER I did not skip my Choctaw class at all this week [and in case you didn't know, I HATE that class!]

maybe because it has been raining all week AND I LOVE THE RAIN.

maybe because I went to Paradigm tonight.

maybe because even though my....whatever you call it...with Bobby is NOT AT ALL where I want it to be, I sat back this week and realized that that relationship is just one part of my life that kinda sucks. I love him tons, but honestly, I have a pretty amazing life, filled with some pretty amazing people =)

maybe because Bobby has taken the initiative more times this week than he has in a LONG TIME to talk to me.

MAYBE because I have the best two brothers in the whole world =)

maybe because I started the week off right by going to church with the family!

maybe because I have two little blonde girls that light up my life when they walk into the room and almost tackle me to hug me!

maybe because I'm making an A in Zoology! ((but then again I'm making a C in math =/ ))

maybe because I'm finally starting to realize that it's ok to cry and be sensitive =)

maybe because I'm finally gaining back the confidence I lost so long ago.

maybe because I've gone to the gym 3 times this week and really worked hard!

maybe because I'm getting my flirt on ;-) {{maybe because I missed FLIRTING!}}



or maybe, just maybe, it's all of these things combined =)

DAY NUMBER TWO.

today was abnormally long, which probably started because I didn't get up at 7 like I have been. For some reason last night I just could not get to sleep, and I definitely felt it today. I got up about 45 minutes before class started, so that was where I went wrong from the get-go.

I didn't feel so great, so after Choctaw class, I came back and took a nap, then the roomie woke me up so we could go to Zoology together. I actually learned something very intriguing in Zoo today, I never realized that the reason why rice && beans get served together at Mexican restaurants is due to the fact that these two side dishes hold all 8 of the essential amino acids! So guess what I shall be eating more of?

basically all day I have been with Meridith, which is great because now we are getting along a lot better than what we were right before Christmas break. I would probably go home with her this weekend if I hadn't already made plans.

speaking of plans, Lauren is wanting me to go to a hooka bar with her. I'm not quite sure about this. from what I've been told it's pretty much harmless, but still, it is tobacco. it doesn't have tar or nicotene in it..I don't know, I'd like to try cuz you only live once, but stuff like that worries me (as most people should know).....either way, I probably WON'T be going..who knows?

I'm so excited to be going to Paradigm tonight! I stopped going toward the end of last semester, and I don't really know why. But I saw Hailee yesterday in the Union and told her I should be there.

well I just got back from a work out with Mere && Tony, so I shall be getting in the shower and getting ready for Paradigm! ta-ta

ONE MORE THING: I was watching some of season 2 of GREY'S ANATOMY last night with Caroline, Lisa, && Katie, and a quote really stood out to me. Now if y'all are avant Grey's watchers, maybe you can correct the exact wording of it, but it is where Christina is talking to George shortly after the Meredith-George fiasco, and she says something along the lines of:

"...stop expecting crap && demand something more."

there's a reason this stood out to me...yep.

................................................................................................
Paradigm was absolutely amazing tonight. I'm so glad I went. It was nice to be surrounded by fellow believers, a feeling I had almost forgotten..

no hooka!! the girls I was supposed to go with changed the day to tomorrow night, and I already have plans tomorrow night.

I'm REALLY looking forward to the women's game this Saturday! It's going to be soooo much fun!

you know, I thought I'd be ok..but I caved tonight. I really miss him. =( but that new boy is super cute too! =) too bad I can't talk to him without lookin' at my feet.. :-S

well that is certainly enough for today. I'm exhausted, good night!