Monday, November 5, 2007

update

so I don't keep up with this as much as I'd like to, so I thought while I had the time I'd give my few readers an update on my life.

I joined Alpha Gamma Delta way back in August and am already an initiated member. I love my sisters so much and honestly, I don't know what I would do without a certain number of them in my life. they are amazing.

school has stressed me out to the max this year. I'm not doing as well as I hoped I would be, but part of that is my fault since I seem to be going out about 10x more than I did last year.

Bobby and I are on our same ol' routine....things are great....we fight....we pretend like nothing happened....we stop speaking....I come home, we spend the whole weekend together and on and on and on.

but I've only came home 3 times, and the semester is about 4 weeks away from being over!

I have a job for Christmas break at American Eagle in Woodland Hills mall. come visit me!

I've changed A LOT this year. I don't really know how to explain how I've changed, but I know no one knows the real me anymore, with the exception of a few people here.

Wednesday I am DEFINITELY making a wordless Wednesday post because I want to show my sisters off to everyone! so be looking forward to that!

that's all I have time for right now, I have class at 3:30, dinner at 5:30, and then I have a paper to write and two tests to study for.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

an update on my life since I never get on.

ok, so my summer is coming to an end very quickly. and it's not ending in any way I had imagined it would.

Bobby pretty much hates me now...I knew it would happen eventually, just didn't think it would be now....I tried to get out of the entire situation before it happened, but I guess the way I called it quits is what made him hate me. ugh it's just so freaking frustrating. I love that boy more than anything, but I don't think I should spend so much energy loving him if he doesn't love me back the way I love him...know what I mean? *sigh*

but on a different note, there is a new guy I'm hanging out with. and he's amazing. he's so funny and so stinkin' cute too! everything between us is innocent, what it should be (because new dating is fun and sweet and innocent.)

I went to South Dakota the week of the 4th on family vacation. Mount Rushmore is amazing. no other words for it.I enjoyed another week away from the phone and computer....

I'm going through formal recruitment...yes, I'm joining a sorority this year. I'm pretty excited about it, and I'm hoping that maybe I won't come home as much. Not that I don't love being home, it's just that I need to make my own life away from the small town....

I think that's just about all....



Mel, I'll do the meme tomorrow!

Monday, June 25, 2007

A good friend of mine wrote this on her blog, and I just wish I had the guts to put it out there like she did....



I have a lot on my mind..

Why is it always we're really up or really down? Our relationship has been through every test.. distance, lies, accusations. Right when I think we're about to get it right.. something goes wrong. You know I love you... is that why you push me? Always on the edge.. I wanna move on. I wanna take the flaws that our relationship had and learn from them and move on. Why do I hold on? You treat me bad because I let you. Time after time. And you say you're sorry so I let it slide. You're not sorry though, right? If I give you a mile, you'll take two. It's always on my shoulders to fix it too. No matter what I've done right or what you've done wrong.. somehow the situation is always manipulated into my fault. When will I say this is too much?... I won't let you walk on me anymore. I think I hold on because I remember the fabulous guy you used to be. Remember four years ago, we were at my house. It was dark, and I wanted a firefly.. I couldn't catch one. You ran all the way down my driveway chasing a certain one because I said it shined the brightest.

That's what I'm doing now.. Chasing the brightest one.

But I keep running and reaching. Right when I'm about to close in.. you slip away. But is it time to accept that you're not that guy anymore? Just thinking about it brings me to tears. I know I have my faults, but we can't ever seem to get past mine. If I mess up one time it's WW3. But you... you looked me right in the eyes and lied after you said it would be different. You had changed. How can you say you love someone and look them directly in the eyes and lie? And the girls.. I guess I will just never be able to compare to anyone.

I can't give you anymore babe, I've given you everything I have, and it's never going to be enough for you to love me as I am.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

one amazing week.

so I had some bad bad drama on Saturday that rained on my happy parade. but it got settled a little bit Sunday..well actually for the most part was settled on Sunday but one individual was not settled. lol sorry I'm warning you now I will go on and on and on. =) sorry I'm so overjoyed right now. anyways. Monday morning I left for FALLS CREEK and had the most AMAZING time there. The speaker we had this year was the best I've ever heard. PERIOD. he delivered the gospel in a way that I have never experienced before. =) the band(s) were amazing. I love April Clay. she seems to be a woman truly after God's heart and the way she leads worship is so.....calming. I have a new hero! (Shoutout to my Oklahomie nate! lol) I watched God work in the lives of the ALL the students there, including my own two brothers. I saw one of my bestest friends in the world come to know Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. THAT brought more joy than my heart could handle, and I cried tears of joy for about an hour.

and the BEST thing of the week?? I turned my phone on today for the first time, and I too have been forgiven =) my life is so amazing right now, and I owe it all to God. He is everything to me, and I wouldn't have happiness without him. so if you are reading this (the person that forgave me) thank you so much, you can't even begin to imagine how happy I am right now, and you have given me part of that joy. I love you still, even though we don't have to be friends =)

GOD IS SO AMAZING.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

well, it appears that I continue to slack on my blogging. I have another new addiction..myyearbook.com. my link is http://www.myyearbook.com/browneyedbeauty44/
I made it to where it matched my xanga name....so yeah, that has consumed my time. bleh.

I had an emotional breakdown Sunday night, and I think I'm gonna get help with my spiritual life. please pray for me.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I love the rain..

well, honestly, I do! for some reason the rain always seems to soothe me..and I sleep so much better when it's rainy...

so tonight was a really good night. My mom didn't have to work out at the ball fields and so the whole family went to the hospital to see our new baby cousin Mason Eli and then we stopped at the grocery store and got stuff for dinner....me and my mom cooked some Chinese stir-fry together...and they stayed here until 10...it was just the human interaction I needed! except for now I'm a little homesick for them..I know they're only down the street but it seriously is mildly depressing when you're in a huge house to yourself..but the weekend is here and I'm pretty busy all weekend long so things should get better! before I know it I'll be in my bed in my house with my family again!

just wanted to let everyone know that I'm better tonight...off to bed!

ugh.

I'm falling behind in my blogging world. I shouldn't be, I have tons of time on my hands...so much time, that I find myself bored and lonely. I'm house-sitting for my aunt's fiancee..they flew to Arizona to meet the rest of his side of the family....the wedding is two years away so it's gonna be a while. The good thing about house-sitting?? he gave me money for my food. and he has a pool. but I stuck my toes in the pool today and about peed my pants because the water was so bloody cold. ugh. so a pool and no use for it.

I went to church tonight...not to my church but A church, which is a lot better than what I've been doing...and I really enjoyed myself. The message got me thinking...I know now that if I'm not in the right condition with my heart here in about three weeks, I don't need to be going to Falls Creek as a sponsor. I don't want to be leading kids in the wrong direction, and show them the way to making mistakes since that's what it seems I'm best at.

sorry about the little rant on my last post. I'm not quite sure if I was flat-out ignored, but that's how I felt. and it hurt. it's a boy...that's where most of my drama seems to be coming from here lately...it was just hard on me that day because I had tried calling him for a week and no response whatsoever. His dad talked to me more than he did, and I was afraid that it was over something silly....me getting a tattoo...I don't know where it stands now...he called me last night and was supposed to go to church with me tonight but couldn't because of practice and stuff...so we'll see how it goes...he'll be traveling for baseball, so after this weekend I may not see him anymore this summer.

wow now that I have written a novel about a boy that no one probably cares about, I think I'll call it a night.

p.s. I made it to Sperry's graduation..one of the boys that works for my mom in the concession stand saved my life and covered my game for me so I could go watch my girls graduate! (and guys too!)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

oh geez.

I'm home from work. I made $90 today. but they are long days. and I hate when I'm ignored, just in case you were wondering. I wish I would be spoken too. and not treated second rate. bleh. I get treated better by fathers than that. ugh it sucks. I miss it. whatever.

I like work though. easy money. I just get a little bored sometimes..

so I totally missed Skiatook's graduation...and it sucked. and I'm hoping I won't miss Sperry's either. oh well I guess....

later..

Friday, May 18, 2007

wow

ok so yeah, it's been a LONG time. I have completed my first year of college. I'm so excited about that because for the first two weeks I thought I was going to quit.

I have watched our high school baseball team make it to the finals in the state championship and lose.

I have been to Dallas and back.

I feel like a part of me is missing...he doesn't speak to me much anymore...like there's an emptiness in the pit of my stomach, and it's making me sick...

I've spent more money on clothes than I think I ever have..

I've watched my brother go from being completely ecstatic to mildly depressed...

I've moved back home!

I've had 4 friends graduate, and will soon have many more...

I've gotten a tattoo!! =)




THIS SUMMER IS GOING TO BE AMAZING...

Saturday, May 12, 2007

so it's my second night home and ALREADY I went a little crazy.

what is that craziness you ask??


I got a tattoo. a purple crescent moon and 3 yellow hearts. on my hip. and I took my momma with me.



CRAZY, I know.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

ok, so the weight was wrong.

I went to the doctor today and I way 168! that's 7 less than last Monday (yeah I know it's not the same scale, but it makes me feel good about myself!)

tomorrow I get a day off from tests. so I'm going to watch our boys play some baseball in the first round of state! wish 'em luck!

Blogging world, I'm so sorry!

It has been so crazy over the past few days, I don't have much time to blog. two words: FINALS WEEK. hopefully after this week things will return to almost normal and I'll be able to catch you guys up on what's going on and with the memes.

but as of Monday morning, I lost 4.3 pounds! I was almost there, haven't weighed since then, and I haven't been eating as well...

I missed the anniversary,
but
Rest In Peace Tyelor L. Redfern. we still think of you down here....and I miss you buddy. I know we were young but you were one of my good guy friends. I'm thinking about getting a memorial tattoo for you since your tree blew down (and I think our class is still working on getting a replacement) we love you, and I know your family still thinks about you all the time.

peace out homes.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

10 things you possibly don't know about me.

I've been tagged by Rebecca from The Rants from Sunnybrook Farm to post Ten Things You Don't Know About Me.....here goes...


1. I like Chemistry. A LOT. in fact, I'm thinking about taking Chem 2 here at college just for fun since I don't need it for my major.

2. Bobby and I have matching birthmarks on our backs. I like to think of it as a sign that we're supposed to be together. *smiles*

3. When I was 6, my brother attacked me (ok, so I like to make things a little dramatic. Here's the real story..). actually I wanted to play house, and he wanted to play ninjas. So me being the bossy older sister that I am, I decided we were going to play house anyways, and was trying to tell him he was the dad and I was the mom and he threw a stick at me. The stick hit right above my right eye and cut down to the skull. I wouldn't have even known I was cut if the blood hadn't ran into my eyes, and I freaked out.

4. I have a goddaughter who was born Feb. 21.

5. my mom is one of my best friends. and she seriously knows just about everything. and she doesn't like hearing some of the things I tell her but she lets me spill my guts anyways.

6. Jell-O FREAKS ME OUT. seriously. I don't think something should be solid AND move.

7. I'm almost a tanorexic (meaning I like to tan in tanning beds). When my mom tells me I'm too dark I stop. and while I'm in tanning beds, I like to concentrate on getting my feet dark. I know I'm weird....and please, no lectures on skin cancer..I know the risks! I even had a great aunt that had it.

8. My grandma is my hero. She's slipped on black ice and broken her ankle, got hit by a semi and only got 40 stitches in her head (yes, ONLY), and she's survived breast cancer. (oh, and as my friend Caroline likes to say she buys me Mountain Dew.) She's one tough cookie.

9. I almost went to play basketball for a college. I gave up that dream to see my family. (the college was 7 hours away from home and the coach said he didn't know if I would be able to come home for Christmas.) Do I regret it? NOT AT ALL.

10. I've never had a real job. My mom always told me in high school that if I stayed in sports she wouldn't make me get a job. Then this summer I was going to get one, but I was given a proposal to babysit all summer long for good money. So I am still real job-less.



I'm tagging Kristin for now...

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY




ok, so today I kinda slacked.

yesterday's workout was intense. I thought I was gonna keel over and die. seriously. and I haven't weighed myslef since Monday because I was given the advice not to that it just frustrates you.

so Day 2 at the gym was 2 miles on the elliptical (that's my warmup), 1.5 miles on a rowing machine, 30 crunches with the machine (doing it with a machine is friggin' hard!) and 30 lower back reps to help with the abs, and then 1.5 miles on the stair master. I went to dinner then went BACK to the gym to make sure my workout partner did her workout (she didn't go with me the first time). I only did .5 miles on a treadmill walking because my legs were so tired.

no breakfast, lunch was a reuben sandwhich, mashed potatoes and gravy, a salad, and WATER.

Day 3, yeah I've slacked A LOT. I made the mistake of taking burgers to basketball players last night around midnight with my workout partner and so today I was REALLY craving one for lunch. I know, terrible. bacon cheeseburger AND pop to drink. I feel terrible. Gym will be around 7, I'll get back on and let ya know how we did =)

Monday, April 30, 2007

project lose 5 lbs well underway..

well, I've started off great. if my readers will allow me I'm gonna use this as sort of, my journal on my progress...

Day 1

weight: 175
breakfast: 1 bowl of oatmeal and 15.2 fl oz of apple juice.
lunch: chicken teriyaki stir-fry and 2 glasses of water.
dinner: a wheat wrap with turkey and bacon, veggies, and honey mustard dressing (couldn't help it); baked lay's; oatmeal raisin cookie (it all comes as a meal); WATER TO DRINK! (I'm doing pretty good with this no pop stuff.)

at the gym: 25 minutes on an elliptical machine (2 miles)
75 situps, and 75 side crunches for each side.
3 sets of 10 reps for both biceps and triceps.
15 minutes on the stair master (1 mile).

overall, I'm pretty happy with what I've done today. I don't usually eat breakfast and when I do, it consists of Mountain Dew. but I'm serious about this weight goal.





it's like half of me wants to be with him
&& the other half wants to get over him
i guess i'll always have that something for him <333

goals...

so I've kinda set a short-term goal for myself: I want to lose 5 lbs in 2 weeks. If I do that, I will have left school weighing the exact same as when I started. It would be great to lose more, how many people can say they finished their freshman year of college weighing less than when they started??? and maybe if I focus on going to the gym everyday, it will help ease the stress of studying for finals.

wish me luck!

Sunday.

yes, I am aware that my "Sunday" post is actually very early Monday morning. but this is my down time. after working all day, I sped home (to Norman) to try to make it to the mandatory meeting my RA was having. being 15 mins. late, I thought I'd be fine. nope. they were done. So when I went down to unload my stuff from my car I get sassed by my RA. Merry freaking Christmas to you too.

I made good money again this weekend. next weekend, no matter what, I shall be staying here to study for finals....wish me luck, I'm gonna need it =)

the bad thing about staying here is I will be disappointing a few people (every one of them in baseball). This week is regionals and it's kind of a big deal. but I SERIOUSLY need to study for finals, and if I go home I know I won't study.

so this week is "get ready for finals", weekend is study, study, study, Mon-Wed and Fri are finals days and then DALLAS HERE I COME!! =) I can't wait..

now it's off to bed to wake up for my 8:30 in the morning.....hopefully I'll go this time =)

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Saturday morning ramblings.

So last night was a good night to be at home. nothing special really happened, I just sat around lazily with the family and watched TV. my surprise was ruined....the video I said I was making for my mom for her birthday???? I slipped and told her. I knew I would. It happened because I told her I needed to get her camera from my aunt and she asked why and I said because I need to take pictures of us, but especially Jacob. then she asked why, and without thinking I said "I'm making a video of the three of us" and she assumed it was for Mother's Day. (speaking of Mother's Day, add that to my list of things that are causing me stress....I completely forgot it was coming up and don't have any idea what to get her....I'm thinking maybe a pedicure). anyways. So now she knows what it is. and that she's not getting it for mothers day *sighs* oh well.

Bobby texted me last night and said he had a 3-hour meeting with a sports agent that he's probably going to hire for next year. Exciting, yes, but man do I hate it. I'm still not ready for him to graduate and leave me, even though we're "not together" and haven't been since school started for me..(ask anyone who knows me pretty well and they will tell you he still has my heart, and that no matter how much we say we're not together we might as well be.) I'm happy for him though, it's what he wants, and me wanting him to stick around for me and not follow his dream is just selfish. I honestly do what him to chase his dreams!! I am. *smiles*

well, it's off to work today. it will be kinda slow compared to last weekend, but hey, it's still money that I love to have in my pocket =)

oh, and I can publish my best friend's news on here now that she's told everyone.....she's getting married in October 2008. exciting, but I'm not so sure about it...they've only been dating a couple months..

Friday, April 27, 2007

Friday's Feast.

Appetizer
How fast can you type?
actually, I don't know an exact word-per-minute. but pretty fast.

Soup
What is your favorite online game?
ANYTHING Sudoku. I love brain teasers. but I like Yahoo! pool too. I could waste hours on there.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), how intelligent do you think you are?
probably about a 6. I thought I was smart, but college is beginning to prove to me that I'm not as smart as I thought I was (is there a difference between "smart" and "intelligent"?)

Main Course
Name three of your best teachers from your school years.
1. DEFINITELY Mrs. Ed. High school English 4 teacher. absolutely amazing.
2. I LOVE Dr. Gaffin, intro to Zoology professor. You can tell he has a passion for what he does, and his lectures are NEVER boring. he puts pictures and cracks jokes to make it more interesting because it is tons of information to know.
3. Mrs. Hamersley-high school science teacher. even though she didn't like me as much my senior year, she made it to where I could understand Chemistry, and I really like it a lot. it really fascinates me.

Dessert
What are your plans for this upcoming weekend?
well I'm driving home, hopefully I'll get to see Bobby, if not, I guess that's ok, and then I'm working..so I'll be making some money! and I have to write a one-page rough draft of my FINAL paper in comp 2. so that just about sums up EVERYTHING.



Thursday, April 26, 2007

how many of me


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are
0
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

http://howmanyofme.com">How many have your name?




DOES THIS MEAN THAT I DON'T EXIST?!?!?!!

*checks pulse*....nope I feel a heartbeat =)

Thursday 13 vol.2


THIRTEEN REASONS WHY THERE IS AN INSANE AMOUNT OF STRESS IN MY LIFE




1. my lack of attendance in one class is probably going to make me have a C.

2. That C will be my first ever C.

3. my last paper for English is a proposal argument. and I know what proposal I'm going to make, I just don't know how to make it stretch to 4 pages.

3. my father calls me at the worst times, so I don't answer the phone. and then when I do answer the phone it's just news that adds on to my stress.

4. my bestest friend in the whole world gave me some interesting news yesterday. can't quite publish it on here just yet.

5. I haven't been to the gym on a regular basis for about a month now.

6. Pre-Calculus. (need I say more?)

7. my brother and the things he says on myspace.

8. Today I am making a 2-hour drive to watch 2 friends play baseball against each other and then driving back.

9. I'm also making the 2-hour drive home tomorrow.

10. Bobby. shouldn't need to say more to that either.

11. mom's video. I'm freaked out she's gonna stumble across it on my computer and the surprise will be ruined...or that I'll open my big fat mouth and just tell her.

12. money problems. especially with school and enrolling.

13. FINALS.


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY



I may add more later..


pretty daggom excited.

I'm making my mother a video of me and my two brothers for her birthday this year. I know, it's only almost May, and I have until September...but I just tonight realized that I only have ONE picture of my youngest brother by himself.........*sighs* this is going to be hard work. I just started tinkering around with Windows movie maker tonight, and I think I kinda got the hang of it...so yeah, I can't wait until it's finished already!! but I know that my brother BETTER let me take pictures of him, or he WILL suffer consequences! muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha......

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I gotta say, I'm pretty pleased =)

So I was a little worried with the last paper I had to write. It was over Emmett Till if you have read my entries before, and it was kinda hard for me to do. I felt like I had so much information I wanted to share and not enough space to do it in. But when we got our papers back yesterday, I made a 96 on it!! I'm so excited!

this weekend was SO much fun! I'm the GM at O'Brien for scorekeepers, and on Thursday night I was calling everyone to try to find people to work for me. so I asked my friend here from school, Flip if he would come and spend the weekend with me and work for me. He came, and Friday night we didn't even have time to go home and drop our stuff off before we started working. So Friday after the games were over, I took him around Sperry (not very big at all) and showed him where I go to church, and my high school and all that stuff. He's from Houston, so being in a small town with hardly any lights kinda creeped him out. So just for giggles I took him out to where Bobby lives because it's really dark out there!

then Saturday after work, Bobby came over and the 3 of us went and drove by the Indian cemetery, the witch's cemetery, and the cult house. It made me and Bobby laugh because Flip was like "THIS is what y'all do for fun?!" It was actually hilarious.

well, I made good money this weekend, $15 a game! The bad thing about it is that I didn't get back here in Norman until almost midnight though (the "if" game was played. bleh).

I'm so excited because there's only 9 more days of class, and then finals week! I absolutely cannot wait for summer break! and the weekend after finals, I'm staying the night with Becky and getting a tattoo! and then I have graduations to attend...it's gonna be busy!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

well I'm trying something new.


13 Random Stuff.

1.I'm really new to blogger and I don't quite get it yet.

2.I love the college I'm at and can't imagine why people aren't wanting to come back in the fall.

3.My favorite season is fall. The leaves and the slight wind here in Oklahoma make it so pretty =)

4.as much as I don't like to admit it, Bobby is one of my biggest weaknesses. It seems that no matter how hard I try to move on, he always says or does something that sucks me back in.

5.My room at home has to be a complete mess or else I won't know where anything is.

6.I REALLY don't like my father. He skipped out when I was young and now wants to be a part of my life again. he is actually causing more stress in my life that I don't need.

7.I want to be a physical therapist and a novelist on the side =) I love to write.

8.I really like Chemistry too. it sounds odd but it's one of my favorite subjects.

9.Our school held a candlelight vigil last night for the victims of Virginia Polytechnic Institute. Bagpipes playing Amazing Grace make me cry EVERY TIME.

10.as much as I try to pretend that I'm not when I go back home, I'm still a big jock that wears nothing but jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes on a daily basis to school.

11.even though I like to write, I have problems starting and finishing things that I'm writing. But once it has been started, I could go on for days =)

12.I have an aunt that is getting married in two years and I will be a bridesmaid. I know it's far off, but I'm really excited about it because I've never been in a wedding!

13.The day after finals, I'm spending the weekend with a friend in Dallas, Texas. While I'm down there, I'll be getting my first tattoo =)



well that was fun! now on to what I REALLY need
to do...study for my math exam!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Virginia Tech Tribute

when will the people of this world stop looking to violence? when will it be enough? too many lives are taken through school shootings. stop all violence, not just when a tragedy happens. don't start it with the jabs you take at each other.

I hope everyone's colleges have taken precautions to ensure safety to everyone. God bless.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Friday's Feast.

Appetizer
When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite?
my favorite crayon color actually WASN'T purple...I loved Jungle Green!!!


Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move?
well right now it's a 10...just because I'm thinking I need some new scenery to try to figure out who I am and forget some people.


Salad
Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. What’s the total?
76.


Main Course
Have you ever “re-gifted” anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to?
actually, I don't think I have. If I have regifted, I don't remember.


Dessert
Name something you need from the store.
I don't really think I need anything....today!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

more icons and quotes for your viewing pleasure!

Easter was great. I really like my aunt's fiancee..he's a pretty cool cat =) his kids are fun too and I really wish my aunt's two daughters would give them a chance.

because I'm so cool and I don't know what else to write, I guess I'll do another icon/quote update..



sometimes I wonder if he honestly knows how bad he hurt me.


i remember when i used to be the happiest,
loudest, spunkiest person alive.
nothing could get me down for very long.
i smiled all the time and laughed nonstop.
i still see glimpses of that girl sometimes,
but not much. i miss her.

he's one of those guys who
REALLY DOES LOVE YOU
((but never really learned how to show it))

she's tired of waiting for him
she's sick of always falling for his words
she wants to leave
.
[[but he keeps pulling her back in]]



She closes her eyes..
Her makeup runs..
He got the best of her....

Maybe I made a huge mistake by going out with you. Maybe I was wrong to fall for you, but whatever I did wrong, the biggest mistake I made was believing everything you said. By trusting you, I ended up giving you a piece of me and letting you see a part of me that not many people do. I wore my heart on my sleeve just dying for you to take advantage of my love......and you did.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Friday's Feast.

Appetizer
When you travel, which mode of transportation do you prefer?
hmm...this one is kind of tough because I like to ride in airplanes because by traveling by airplane you can go overseas and get places faster. but honestly, I would probably say car, just because if you take a car, more people can travel ((we usually travel with about 20 people when we go on vacation)) and I absolutely love road trips. so car =)

Soup
Have you ever met a blogging friend in person?
no. I only have one blogging friend that I don't know. Sad I know.

Salad
When was the last time you were really, really tired?
I've been really, really tired all week ((see my blog from Wednesday, I think)) I think it was because even though I was home for spring break, I got an entire new sleeping schedule, and then when I came back to school I tried to have my old sleeping schedule. It made me really tired. I've slept more than I've been awake all week long.

Main Course
If you could have dinner with any one fictional character from a book or movie, who would it be?
oh it would be Stephanie Plum from the Janet Evanovich series. those books crack me up and Stephanie is a mess. =)

Dessert
Fill in the blank: One day, I hope to see _______________.
One day, I hope to see my great-grandmother in heaven. I was told she was a pretty cool lady and I never got to meet her because she died two years before I was born.




Like I promised, here's poem #3:

*You're Perfect*
Because everything you do
Makes me smile...
Because every second I spend with you
Is worthwhile...
Because when you laugh at me
I laugh too
Because everyone else can see
That I'm devoted to you
Because I love your eyes
and the way the shine...
Because you don't tell lies
And you're so cute when you whine...
Because when you get mad
You can't hide it...
Because even when you're sad
I can find it...
Because the way you hold me
Sends shivers down my spine...
Because your spirit's so free
and you're so dang fine!
Because I never stop thinking about you
It's not fair
Because you're just perfect
and no one else can compare...
you cannot even begin to imagine how much I miss this. These used to be the best things in my life, I don't know where either of us has gone wrong, but I'm trying my best to fix it.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

just a bunch of quotes and icons that I feel say the words I can't. =)

we're not sarcastic -------we're hilarious
we're not annoying -------we're just cooler than you
we're not bitches ---------we just don't like you.
we're not obsessed -------we're just best friends.








He said last night that she was the one...
but men and mascara always run


All that I want is
for him to wrap me in his arms, kiss me on the forehead,
tell me I'm the only one for him, cuddle when we watch movies, protect me from the pouring rain with his lips, and to love me.



The best feeling in the world is knowing
someone is missing your smile. :)



I had no one to look up to
so I looked down on myself.

A friend is someone who
knows the song in your heart
& can sing it back to you
when you've forgotten the words.

p.s. Poem #3 will return tomorrow, the last one..

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

ugh...just ready for this week to be over.

ok, so there's something wrong with me. something SERIOUSLY wrong. I have been sleeping so much, I've lost my appetite, and I'm having TERRIBLE mood swings. oh, and to top it all off, I've been kinda nauseous too.

today was pretty much amazing. ((please note the sarcasm))
to start off my oh-so-wonderful day, I slept through my alarm...about an hour. late to class, didn't read what was supposed to have been read for my second class...got to my third class and the battery for my clicker was busted. that was just great. went to lunch and spilled my pop. went to my math class and felt completely stupid the whole time.
came to my room, and started looking at my checkbook to see how much I wanted to spend on my Easter outfit, then checked my balance online..ok, so I REALLY can't do math, because I had $110 more in my checkbook than I did online, turns out I had done the math WAAYY wrong. ugh, I'm just ready for Friday.

I'm going to see The Reaping with Shane. I'm so excited!! I absolutely cannot wait.
sorry that it's no Wordless Wednesday, I wasn't really up for it since I've had such a great week. Wordless Wednesday will return next week =)

here's poem #2:
"Being With You"

Being with you
Is something so sweet
You make me so happy
And you make my heart skip a beat
Being with you
Is something I love
You’re an angel from above
That made my dream come true
Being with you
Takes away the pain
You take away all the sadness
Even though sometimes you drive me insane
Being with you
Is something I adore
And each and everyday
I love you more

Monday, April 2, 2007

tomorrow's another day.

I was on an old blog site of mine last night, and ran across a few poems that were added to a person's site with me in their mind. It made me realize how much passion we once shared between each other, but somewhere along the way both of us lost it and filled it with jealousy, anger, and distrust. amazing how life can throw ya curveballs in once-precious relationships. here's one of the poems:

PERFECTION IN MY EYES
All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
And for us to be together, to never be apart.

No one else in the world can even compare,
You're perfect and so is this love that we share.

We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.

I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll do anything for you as long as I live.

In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
By the way you look at me I know we will last.

I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

paper #4...and we're on the homestretch!!

ok, so paper #4 for Comp II is going to be the hardest. but I'd rather this be the hardest than the last one.

I only have five weeks of school left! ((including finals week!)) I'm SO super pumped about it!! I absolutely cannot wait for summer vacation. I'm SO going swimming 24/7 to make up for last summer.

paper #4 is a CAUSAL ARGUMENT--this caused that, that caused another this, and so on. my topic is Emmett Till. anyone who doesn't know the story should look it up. it's pretty interesting, and kinda makes me mad but in a way shows me how far we've come as a nation.

weekend, AMAZING. I went to dinner and a movie Friday night for under $10.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND BECAUSE I SAID SO! cute and funny movie. definitely a chick flick.

Saturday night was dinner at Charleston's with the SW and the aunts. loooove that restaurant. and ice cream at Annya's =)

today was Hannah's birthday party! she was crackin' me up with the candy.

AMAZING service at church. that's all there is to say about that

and then today on my way home, I have one day of this summer planned! I'm pumped =) me, Shane, && Kendra are all gonna go to Frontier City together!

now it's finishing my annotate bibliography and going to bed!! ((don't worry, I only have about 3 sentences left to write.))

Thursday, March 29, 2007

!!!!!!

ok..so here lately, I've just been in one of those "the whole world sucks and I'm ready for it to be over with" kind of moods..I don't know what it was about today, but I'm in a strangely happy mood. And I can't explain it.

maybe it's because I haven't skipped a class yet this week =) lol but I did sleep through two ((oooooops.)) HOWEVER I did not skip my Choctaw class at all this week [and in case you didn't know, I HATE that class!]

maybe because it has been raining all week AND I LOVE THE RAIN.

maybe because I went to Paradigm tonight.

maybe because even though my....whatever you call it...with Bobby is NOT AT ALL where I want it to be, I sat back this week and realized that that relationship is just one part of my life that kinda sucks. I love him tons, but honestly, I have a pretty amazing life, filled with some pretty amazing people =)

maybe because Bobby has taken the initiative more times this week than he has in a LONG TIME to talk to me.

MAYBE because I have the best two brothers in the whole world =)

maybe because I started the week off right by going to church with the family!

maybe because I have two little blonde girls that light up my life when they walk into the room and almost tackle me to hug me!

maybe because I'm making an A in Zoology! ((but then again I'm making a C in math =/ ))

maybe because I'm finally starting to realize that it's ok to cry and be sensitive =)

maybe because I'm finally gaining back the confidence I lost so long ago.

maybe because I've gone to the gym 3 times this week and really worked hard!

maybe because I'm getting my flirt on ;-) {{maybe because I missed FLIRTING!}}



or maybe, just maybe, it's all of these things combined =)