Sunday, August 12, 2012

What's Your Number?, a little personal perspective.

The other morning, I woke up and switched the channel over to HBO to catch the rest of the movie "What's Your Number?"
Have any of you seen this movie? I first watched it last fall, and fell in love with it. Mostly because Anna Faris cracks me up like no other, and secondly because HELLO. Chris. Evans. SO attractive.

Anyways, as I was watching it, it got me thinking, why IS society obsessed with everyone's "numbers?" I am a Christian, and I don't necessarily talk about it very often, but according to my beliefs, it's supposed to be one. One person for the rest of forever. Now don't get me wrong, I wish that I could say this was true for me. Sometimes when you're young, you think you are in love and you make dumb decisions. It happens to some of the best of us.

But if you find that ONE person, that you know you should have waited for, do you even want to know his/her "number?" If it's higher than you thought it was going to be, do you all of a sudden change your mind about how you feel about that person? Do you accept it as a part of who he/she is and know that you will be their last?

And how do you keep yourself from comparing? I know that for me personally, if I knew that a man's "number" was pretty high, I would never feel like I was adequate. And I would wonder if I was just there to add to it, if he ever really saw me as his last.

To be honest, I don't usually want to know. I don't want a guy to tell me how many unless he's only telling me as a friend. I don't want to know the guy I'm interested in is 2, 3, 4 times as many as my number. I don't want to know the guy I'm interested in has zero, because then I feel like I'll never be good enough for him. I don't want to know the guy I'm interested in has a very small number because I know that he doesn't take sex lightly and that if we were to get together, it would mean a lot to him. Not that it wouldn't mean a lot to me because it does. I just don't want to hurt him.

But the question almost inevitably comes up in new relationships. How do you avoid it? You simply can't. You always wonder how you're going to measure up to this person's past. Do you lie if you're ashamed of the truth? Do you make sure you answer second to gauge the other person?

To me, I feel like the topic should be saved for a much later date. You should be together for a LONG time before sex comes up in the relationship. But it's not a perfect world, and I'm a realist.

I love the ending of this movie so much. She says "I love you 21." And as he tries to say I love you too number...., she stops him. She doesn't want to know. And sometimes, not knowing is so much better, because you get the chance to enjoy what it is, and live in the moment :)

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