Monday, September 5, 2011

an explanation as to why I've been absent

The last time I was on  here, I promised more posts.
I tried to update, but I didn't feel I had anything interesting to say.
Then I was going to do my reading update on the last day of the month (like normal), but my world got turned upside down last Sunday.

On Saturday, August 27th, I did my usual--spend time with Shawna dancing the night away and getting some much loved attention from good looking guys.

Sunday I woke up and went to church, and I didn't even get to stay for the entire time.

My aunt got a phone call from a surrogate aunt and she was hysterical. She and my grandma left church and I stayed for about 10 more minutes. Then another friend of ours from church came and got me and said I needed to go to Margie's (surrogate aunt) right away.

Upon my arrival, my grandmother was in tears. I think I said something along the lines of "don't look at me like that, please tell me good news, I don't want to hear it if it's not good."
Margie's dad, and my best friend Jessie from high school's grandfather had had a heart attack. Jessie is in the middle of nursing school, and she initiated CPR to try to revive him until the paramedics arrived. They got a heart beat going again and then transported him to the hospital.

I was given the responsibility of making sure the wife (Nana), Margie, Jessie, and Jessie's sister Jacci arrived at the hospital safely. Other family members and friends of mine and Jessie's began arriving for support. We were at the hospital for maybe an hour and they pronounced him dead.

Last week, I was semi-numb to my emotions and feelings because I was just trying to be strong for and supportive of Jessie and her family. Jessie is one of the bravest women I know, and I honestly don't know how she kept it together for 24 hours.

I didn't sleep much last week, I didn't eat right, I drank a lot of alcohol, and I put my life on hold for a week. I went into my boss' office on Monday and cried to him saying I had missed two funerals this summer already and I was not missing this one, that I would take a personal day if I had to. He generously gave me funeral leave.

Melvin "Pops" Smith was around a majority of my life. He was more of a grandfather in my day-to-day life than either of my biological ones. He coached my softball team for six years. He gave generously. He claimed all of us as his kids or grandkids. He let me live with him during a summer that I didn't have anywhere else to go. He was a hardworking man, and he taught more than softball to my team.

Everyone on the team made it in town for the service Friday. It was nice to see my old teammates, but I hated the circumstances of it. I cried more on Friday than I think I've ever cried before.

I do not tell you all this to have pity on me. I tell you this to explain my absence, and to selfishly ask that you keep the Smith family in your thoughts and if you pray in your prayers. Everyone in the family is having a rough time dealing with this, especially the wife. She just had to bury her mother about six weeks ago. So please, please,take a little extra time to say a prayer for them. And once you do, tell the people you love how you feel about them.

Melvin was 65 years young; a life taken too soon; and always in our hearts.


  1. I am praying for you and your entire family. This post brought me to tears. Please know that I am grieving for you as well and hope that you find light at the end of this tunnel. xoxo.

  2. What a rough week. I'm so sorry, Mal. I knew something was up when I hadn't seen a post from you. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. This is so sad...and very sobering, too. Sixty-five is a life taken WAY too soon.

    Big hugs to you, Love! xoxo

  3. So many thoughts and prayers for you and your entire family, and Jessie's family! I'm so sorry to hear all of this - you are right, sixty-five is WAY too soon to lose someone! :(
    And just know - you will never OWE us any explanation of why you are gone for a little bit! ;-/

  4. I'm so sorry for your lose. I'll be keeping the family and yourself in my prayers. Sixty-five is to young!

  5. I'm so sorry honey.. You and your family and friends are all in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. ohmygawd sweetie.. my heart & strength go out to you & the family.. please remember to take ALL the time you need. <3

  7. I'm so sorry sweetheart. If there is anything you need, anything at all, you have my number. I'm hurting for you and you are all in my thoughts. Melvin sounds like my Grandpa Del. He was actually an uncle, but was more of a grandfather than either of my biological ones. He would take in anyone who needed a place or someone to talk to. He died almost 2 years ago. It's still hard some days. I'll hear something that he would have said or see something he would do and I break down. It takes time darlin. You were there for me when he passed, the whole Plaid Family was. I'll be here for you just the same. Love you girl.


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