Wednesday, March 2, 2011

You might just want to skip over this one.

I'm just in a funk. I don't mean to be, and I know it's not all entirely my fault, but it just happened.

I started out with good intentions by laying out my goals for March. So far I'm on track pretty well. I've got about 9 hours of community service coming up this weekend. I'm working on setting a BIG/little date with little number four (yes I have four different littles). But there are a couple of things that are setting me back:

  • I didn't make it past the telephone interview for Teach for America. When I first started the application process, I wasn't getting very excited about it because I didn't want to feel the disappointment from not being selected. But the more I talked to others about it, the more I thought I would be chosen. When I wasn't, I cried. Not immediately because I was in class, but later when I got back to my bed.
  • I can't work out. I didn't realize before my appendix surgery how active I really am. I would have loved to have gone for a run yesterday after reading the e-mail from Teach for America to get some good endorphins going, but I couldn't.
  • I have to depend on people to drive me around town because of my medication. If you knew how independent I really am, you would understand this completely.
  • I don't have my birth control pills right now, and my hormones are all out of whack. Okay, that was probably an overshare, but whatevs. If I can't blog about it then blogging sucks. BCP are probably the big reason why I'm in a funk. The hormones regulate everything for me so not having that in my system is kind of making me a nutcase. Hopefully they'll be here by Friday so I can get back to as close to normal as possible.
I know it's not my fault that my appendix decided to become infected, and that I really have nothing to be so down about, but I just can't help the way it's all made me feel this week. I didn't feel like this last week, and I'm assuming it is because I was at home and not around all my friends who can do all the normal stuff. I go back to see my surgeon on Monday, and I'm hoping she'll give me some good news about being able to return to somewhat normalcy.

And I'm really sorry for posting a Debbie Downer post. I don't like them at all. But I promised myself that no matter what I blogged, I always wanted to be real and honest, as I feel like that is the only way those of you who want to know me will truly know me.

HOWEVER, on a positive note (because you should always end on a good note I think), I did make an A on my piano quiz this morning, I took graduation pictures, and spring break (BEACH!) is 2 weeks away!(slash-I-will-start-the-drive-to-Florida-most-likely-next-Friday!) I can't wait! I'm staying in Treasure Island with 5, maybe 6 friends. It's going to be a nice week to hang out with friends for what will be my last spring break.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have my first vlog! I'm working on trying to edit the video so that it can be fun :)


  1. Girl...I've been in a total funk the past few days. For reasons a lot more lame than yours. Yours are legit at least. Ha! It'll get better. :-)

  2. Hey Sweet Girl,

    First of all, congratulations on your "A"! That's definitely something to be happy about...and yay for Spring Break (in 2 weeks?!)! Clearly, I've been out of school long enough that I tend to 'forget' when Spring Break is!

    Ok, now for the "Mom" in me. NEVER apologize for what you post on your blog. Seriously, this blog is (ultimately) for YOU, so you should feel comfortable to post about anything you feel like writing about. I can appreciate that you don't want your blog to be a place of negativity, but the reality is that we ALL have days when we're not feeling 100% percent. You of all people have a reprieve...I mean seriously, you just had surgery! Give yourself permission to whine about the after-effects! You have a right to feel what you're feeling; I think anyone would be a little bummed out to suddenly be limited with their physical activities and having to rely on others for transportation. So go easy on yourself and understand that this - this...funk - is just part of the recovery process. Soon you will be back to your normal routine, but in the meantime, give your body the TLC it deserves to heal itself.

    Looking forward to your vlog...I always get a kick out of hearing the real voices of my blog-friends!

    Thinking of you,

  3. DUDE! I was the same way with BCPs. But they didn't really turn out for me though in my situation. I actually got pregnant while I was on the pill (but I was more than happy to have my son!) Anywho, I tend to get a bit grumpy when I don't have them. Stupid hormones...

    Oooh, appendix! :( So sorry to hear about that, that's actually a fear of mine...exploding appendix. It happened to my uncle and he nearly died from appendicitis. Eeek.

  4. oooh shuttup. Heh. I was in a funk for close to or over three months and I blogged the hell out of it. One post ain't gonna be the end of me or anyone else liking you, nor would 3 months be overkill. Maybe three years, because then I'd tell you to get some meds. I mean, good god! You've just had some major invasive surgery! It sucks balls! Quit being so hardcore and relax. Otherwise, recovery's gonna suck balls too!

    Sorry I threw you for a loop! People from OK would ask me where I was from, so I knew already that my 'voice' was atypical for the region.

    Love ya kiddo.

  5. Oh, and I am really really really really truly sorry about Teach for America. Idiots. Buncha whiners/weiners who complain about how they need teachers and then they reject competent and enthusiastic individuals such as you. It's shit like this, America!

    But, rejection is God's protection and when life gives you lemons, you've got ammo for your slingshot.

    Again, love ya.

  6. You are not complaining or oversharing, you are being you and real :) I am sorry the appendix, or rather lack there of one, is messing up everything. Must be nice to be in a country where they give you real pain medicine. I only had Advil :) lol. And think about it this way, at least your appendix didn't rupture during Spring Break. If it had to happen, it picked ok timing :)

  7. I'm sorry you're in a funk - I'm constantly in a funk so I feel your pain and frustration.

    That is interesting about the birth control pills - when I am off of them I feel normal, when I am on them I feel like a nutcase. Ooooh hormones!

  8. Venting when crappy things happen are what friends, bloggy or otherwise, are for. Hope your days start to turn around--have you considered applying for Americorps instead? Just a thought!

    Hope your doctor's appointment brings some much deserved relief :)

  9. aw, lovely. I am so sorry that you are feeling down lately. And I'm sorry that Teach for America is a bunch of dumb dumbs.

    I love that you can find the silver lining in the day and I hope that you have a better day today!

    Lots of love,

  10. i just got shot down for some interviews. i was way bummed. i also just got an ankle brace - the dr. is letting me get on a bike and lift weigths, but that's it. and - i got off birth control a little while ago and i felt craaaaa-zy for a while. haha. i feel you girl.


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