I'll be the first to admit that I have some reservations about love. I don't think it's too bad of me to feel this way because I've been hurt in the past, I've been used, I've been cheated on. I know what I want, I know what will make me happy, and I'm not entirely sure that I will find anyone who is willing to go on all these adventures with me. (And if by some chance I do find that person, I'm snatching him up quick.)
I HATE Valentine's Day. Everyone says that just tells the world you're single. So what? I hated it when I wasn't too. My whole thought on it is that if you really care about someone, tell them every day! Take them to a nice dinner or buy them flowers randomly, instead of on a day where everyone in the world is getting flowers and a nice dinner. To me, that's more thoughtful than getting them on Valentine's Day. (And it's quite a bit cheaper as well.)
I know some people love this holiday, a chance to go all out for the one they love. Reading people's updates helped me feel the love they were radiating from this special day. But I just don't like it.
I got 2 valentine's day cards yesterday, and honestly the best one I got was the handmade one. It's very pretty, and to me it's more heartfelt:
Last night, roommate helped me remember when and why I started hating Valentine's Day.
It's all about expectations.
When I was in elementary and even middle school, everybody got to decorate a box and return home at the end of the day with lots of little cards and candy in tow. Valentine's day is the best ever when you're a kid.
Then in high school, you only got something if your parents, friends, or significant other sent you something. Okay, no big deal.
But my sophomore year changed my view on V-Day. I had my first semi-serious boyfriend on this particular Valentine's Day, and he had a very nice evening planned for us. He was two years older than I was, so he was all about treating me well on this day.
He planned a nicer dinner at an Italian restaurant in the downtown area of his hometown, so that we could get a break from our usual dinner dates. He gave me roses that he picked from the neighbor's rose bushes (which I thought was more thoughtful than anything else).
Little did he know the Italian restaurant had a special menu just for this day, which was SUPER expensive and had things neither of us liked. I asked him if we could leave and just go to "our restaurant" that we ate at every time. After much convincing, he finally consented. But then he didn't talk to me much the rest of the night because he was upset that the evening didn't go as he planned. That alone kind of ruined the night for me. It easily could have been spun into something to laugh about.
Fast forward to V-Day my junior year, and I had been "talking" (what is it with high schoolers and this term?!) to a boy for about a month or so. I wasn't expecting anything from him, but at the end of the day I got a notice saying I had flowers. I immediately thought my mom and aunts had chipped in to buy me something (why I didn't know). I was happily surprised when I got the two red carnations from him. But then I went to the basketball locker room, and he had also given two other girls the same thing. I still loved my flowers and nurtured them until they died, but the two other girls basically berated the boy for getting all three of us something. It kind of made me feel like I didn't deserve them.
That same boy from junior year was also my "valentine" my senior year, and he wanted to take me out. I refused and basically asked him to take me out to dinner on a different day for two reasons: 1. I hated the holiday, and 2. We both were playing basketball on that day. So we went to our favorite sit-down restaurant (Chili's) a day or two after. It was a nice "Valentine's Day" date, and I enjoyed that more than anything, just because he allowed me to hate the holiday and still did something nice for me :)
So folks, two bad Valentine's Days in a row can cause for any person to become a cynic. That explains my hate for the holiday.
Now St. Patrick's Day? That's my kind of holiday! I'm always Irish for a day... :-D